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Jennifer Lopez and I Approach Dating the Same Way: We Don't Do It

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I’m not the only single person in my circle of friends. I’m not even the only single mom. I am, however, the only person who hasn’t been on a date in a very long time. An epic length of time. You know the amount of time you have in your head right now? Multiply that times a couple of years. (Fine. Since before President Obama was elected.)

I’ve watched from the sidelines as friends have jumped into the world of online dating. I’ve listened to their stories from the front lines of the intersection of technology and relationships. Online dating seems stressful and 100 percent image-based, and just thinking about it makes me go into a panic. Dating is a scary unknown for me and the longer I avoid it the easier it becomes to let the concept of it fade away into oblivion.

Well-meaning friends have teased that I “just need to be brave and go for it.” If there is a lid for every pot, certainly there is someone out there for me. All I need to do is set up a profile. When these helpful friends started suggesting they would do the profile setting up for me I started making sure I never let my phone out of sight again.

I can’t do online dating. I can’t go on a date. I can’t just meet some guy. I can’t casually look for love. I’m a mom.

I come with a sidecar of fantastic in the shape of my 5-year-old son. My son is the most important person in my life. I just don’t get it. How on earth does a person approach the concept of dating at all when you are a single parent?
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I can’t think about if a guy has crinkle eyes, whimsical facial hair, or how well he fills out a gray sweater. At the front of my mind has to be how will he treat my child? How will my child accept him? How will the dynamics work?

I know I am not alone with this sort of dating immobility. Recently fellow single mom from the block, Jennifer Lopez, opened up about her feelings about dating. Lopez has just published her first book, True Love, and she documents some of her most high-profile loves. Spoiler alert: Her children are her true loves.

The performer said she had a history of jumping into relationships but that didn’t work out so well for her. She now has put a pause on looking for love. Lopez says she is “not dating anybody. I’m not even looking for anybody.” Instead she wants to “be happy on my own. Me and my kids … then maybe somebody could come along and add to that happiness, but it’ll already be there.”

While I am thrilled to have some company on this single mama couch, what I really, truly need help with is figuring out when it’s time to get up. I made motherhood a priority over dating and having a relationship.

The choice just happened and now it’s like yoga pants. It’s so comfortable being single. I told myself I did it because it was best for my kid. How could some guy EVER be good enough? But I wonder.

I wonder how many of us single moms just put our hearts on lockdown mode because we’re so afraid of damaging our kids if we start dating. So we end up not dating at all. We put the wall up, lock the doors, and turn out the lights to our hearts and we try our best to convince ourselves that it’s what we want. This is for the best. This is putting our kids first.

I’ve been a single mom for as long as I’ve been a mom. As my son gets older, I’m realizing I’m hiding behind him and I feel — wow, this is hard to admit — but I feel ashamed.

Maybe it’s time to start knocking down some walls?
Début de l'événement 14.05.2022
Fin de l'événement 14.05.2022
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]]> Wed, 14 May 2025 12:54:36 +0000 Lovelace Ada WikiAdmin

Lovelace Ada

Nom Lovelace
Prénom Ada
LovelaceAda_lovelace.png
Mon métier, ma fonction Pionnière de la science informatique
Ma présentation

J'ai réalisé le premier véritable programme informatique, lors de mon travail sur un ancêtre de l'ordinateur : la machine analytique de Charles Babbage.

Nom de la structure Université de Cambridge
Site Internet https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ada_Lovelace
Ville Londres
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]]> Tue, 25 May 2021 11:00:19 +0000 Sortie Culturelle WikiAdmin

Sortie Culturelle

Description La culture, moins on en a, plus on l'étale!
Début de l'événement 30.05.2023 - 16:00
Fin de l'événement 02.05.2021 - 18:00
Adresse url https://www.yeswiki.net
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Adresse Avenue des Champs Elysées
Code postal 75000
Ville Paris
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]]> Mon, 24 May 2021 22:54:03 +0000 JFeinler Elizabeth WikiAdmin

JFeinler Elizabeth

Nom JFeinler
Prénom Elizabeth
ElizabethJFeinler_elizabethfeinler-2011.jpg
Mon métier, ma fonction informaticienne, pionnière de l'internet
Ma présentation En 1974, j'ai créé le nouveau Network Information Center (NIC) de l'ARPANET.
Nom de la structure Stanford Research Institute et NASA
Site Internet https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elizabeth_J._Feinler
Ville Paris
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]]> Mon, 24 May 2021 22:07:17 +0000 Framasoft WikiAdmin

Framasoft

Site web https://framasoft.org/fr/
Type de ressource
  • Partenaire ressource
Description Framasoft, c’est une association d’éducation populaire, un groupe d’ami·es convaincu·es qu’un monde numérique émancipateur est possible, persuadé·es qu’il adviendra grâce à des actions concrètes sur le terrain et en ligne avec vous et pour vous !
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]]> Wed, 12 Feb 2020 14:12:58 +0000 Un beau logo pour Yeswiki WikiAdmin UnBeauLogoPourYeswiki_yeswiki-logo.png

Un beau logo pour Yeswiki

Résumé Il fallait le rafraichir, nous l'avons fait !
Billet Après multiples discussions, tests et essais, un logo plus actuel a été créé pour Yeswiki
Nous espérons que vous l'aimerez ;-)
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]]> Wed, 12 Feb 2020 13:16:06 +0000 Un nouveau thème pour Yeswiki WikiAdmin UnNouveauThemePourYeswiki_capture-décran-2020-02-12-à-13.16.33.png

Un nouveau thème pour Yeswiki

Résumé Margot, voilà le nom du nouveau thème qui sera distribué avec la prochaine version de Yeswiki
Billet Plus moderne, mieux pensé, plus graphiqu.
Margot permettra d'unifier les rendus graphiques des wikis.
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]]> Wed, 12 Feb 2020 12:17:49 +0000 Yeswikiday WikiAdmin

Yeswikiday

Description Une journée pour faire avancer le projet Yeswiki dans la bonne humeur
Début de l'événement 30.04.2020 - 07:00
Fin de l'événement 30.04.2020 - 14:00
Adresse url https://yeswiki.net/?DocumentatioN
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Code postal 7700
Ville Mouscron
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]]> Wed, 12 Feb 2020 11:21:49 +0000 Yeswiki : le site officiel WikiAdmin

Yeswiki : le site officiel

Site web https://yeswiki.net
Type de ressource
  • Site web ressource
Description Tout ce qu'il y a à savoir sur Yeswiki
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]]> Wed, 12 Feb 2020 11:10:01 +0000 Youpi ici c'est le titre WikiAdmin

Youpi ici c'est le titre

Description Un événement autour du vin, c'est pour cela qu'il est à Bordeaux...
Début de l'événement 08.01.2020
Fin de l'événement 10.01.2020
Ville Bordeaux
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]]> Fri, 24 Jan 2020 09:42:52 +0000